The Sex Robot and The Royal Mile

So taking a poor actress out onto The Royal Mile in Edinburgh dressed in little more than some pink cloth and a few bits of string, isn't the wisest move ever to have graced Mokita's blue stained thoughts. However, Samantha Hopkins deserves a thousand thanks for all the effort that she went into as Gemma The Sex Robot.

Having completed the show for the umpteenth time, Sam got into the aforementioned 'costume' and headed out into the one mile of hell that is The Edinburgh High Street at Festival time.

Dodging streams of scary white coated performers doing anything but attract us to their show, we headed to our usual spot just outside the Fringe Box Office. For all complaints against this organisation please do post them...anywhere! More on this in a later blog.

'Hello! My name is Gemma.'

The cry of the blond bombshell rang out true against the rain washed streets.

'I am CRC. Cybernetic Realism Companion.'

The ears of males (and females) prick to attention. It really is fascinating to see how men really are programmed to be amazed, tongue-tied and generally aroused by an actress - yes boys, an actress - playing the part of a sex toy. Blond, pink, legs on show, smiling provocatively. A little switch seems to be pressed somewhere deep and loinsome. Similarly for myself and Alfie Talman, the same predatory protectiveness flares up as we move that little bit closer every time another rival to her affections stops and stares.

Boyfriends are pulled away from her clutches by jealous other halves. Men slide by, tripping on a loose flyer. A husband is slapped as his camera really was, honestly, just pointing at that lovely church. Tramps sidle over, purveying the latest offering to their homeless streets. And, Gemma, left slightly alone for a second has a rather unhealthy and wet smacker on the lips. Perfectly, in character, she responds.

'I am for Cohen' (or in Sam's head, 'Get away from me you disgusting freak!')

But they all tend to pass on by or are given a strong hint from Gemma's minders. Bugger off you idiot, she is actually an actress and not a sex toy. You can't buy one. They are far too expensive and not available for another 20 years.

And lo and behold. The audiences flocked in. You're the show with the sex robot right? Well yes, but, er...there's a bit more to it than that. I play this....great. See you there.

'I am a robot sex toy.'

Gemma. Bless you. Sex really does sell.